I learned a new word to describe myself


I think I am homosocial because of my socially burdensome proclivity to romancify & objectify the opposite sex. With men I am able to enjoy a "pure" friendship, unhindered by the romantic insecurities, anxiety, and considerations that inexorably arise in me with the opposite sex, despite (though the degree of which is contingent on) the attractiveness or romantic potential of the given person. Whilst solely amongst (heterosexual) men I feel like there is a greater equality in the group and less of a competitive climate; that is, we enjoy a sense of camaraderie & supportive rapport perhaps akin to that amongst members of the same sports team or cultural group. For these reasons I feel the pubescent advent of sexuality and romantic attraction presents many problems for us, contrary to the glorified status sexuality holds (at least in pop/youth/alternative culture in our society).

(I realise that this sort of thinking and said proclivities are problematic but they are merely how I feel, not how think I ought to feel [which are two very different things]. Plus, I of course do love having female friends, but this is just an idea about the difference.)

[Note: none of this applies whilst with a partner]